Everybody Lies, Methos' Guide to Internet Dating
by FanLass
Summary: Methos bets Amanda that everyone lies. They have a bet that she can't date an honest man on an Internet site. Enter Sam Axe, and Maddie Weston, who write Sam's dating profile. Maddie uses a photo of Sam taken 20 years ago and calls him Charles Finley! Methos needs to get out of Paris quickly after breaking the rules! They all meet in Miami, lots of laughs and big surprises!
1. Chapter 1

**Everybody Lies, or Methos' Guide to Internet Dating **

**Author's notes** - Characters thoughts are in (_italics_). This story was written for enjoyment purpose only. It was not written for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended. I do not own Burn Notice or Highlander. This story is set during the summer of 2009, Season 3 of Burn Notice somewhere between Episode 02, and Episode 13. In Highlander it is set after the TV universe is over and Richie is not dead because the whole Avatar Arc never happened. So you can consider this a **AU** like all my other stories.

I would like to especially thank my Beta reader **Feritkid **who helped me brainstorm during many of those late night sessions especally helped to find out where all the itsy-bitsy teeny-weenie commas should go. I encourage everyone to read her fan-fictions at - u/2825702/FerretKid - Also **Rayven Lilith Sky **for her help at beta reading too, please read her fan-fiction at - u/2988717/ - Any misspelling or grammar mistake is mine alone.

* * *

**Chapter One - What Happened at Joe's Bar?**

"Let's see, Romance after 35…No." She moved on to the next email with a quick click.

"I got you babe in 74." She scoffed

_'Maybe back in 1974.' _ She shook her head before deleting the email and clicking on another.

"Dinner for two 69." Amanda made a noise of approval as she looked over the picture that accompanied the email. "The name is a bit over the top but he has possibilities. Muscles in all the right places, profile looks good. Maybe I'll write him back."

Suddenly, Amanda felt an Immortal enter the room and she slammed the laptop closed. Since she was sitting in her own bar, which had been built on holy ground, there was no need to draw a weapon. But It had been "one of those days," so she did anyway. Picking up her new 9mm, she pointed it at the tall, lean figure comfortably dressed in a loose white sweater and tight jeans. His expression showed shock at being greeted with the gun.

"Methos don't sneak up on me like that!" Amanda huffed and laid her gun on the bar, next to the laptop.

"Le Blues Bar is closed for renovations."

"I've heard." Amanda said, dryly.

"Nice gun you have there. Is it new?" Methos smiled as he ran his hand through his messy hair. He looked a bit disheveled. The clean-cut boy next door was gone, badly needing a hair cut and shave. Upon closer examination, Methos wasn't carrying his usual 'know-it-all' expression, either.

"Well, who's fault was that?" Amanda snapped back at him. "Do you like my new toy? It's a Glock 26, automatic, fixed sites, I thought it might help keep the riffraff out, but I guess it's not working since you're here."

The sides of the other Immortal's mouth casually went into a smile as he ignored her last comment. "You heard about Joe's bar? News travels fast."

"News like that travels fast! Mac was already in here complaining. He said you broke the rules!"

"Me! Why would I cause any trouble?"

"HA! Methos. You're nothing but trouble!"

"Amanda, I wasn't looking for a fight and this big hairy guy was looking for MacLeod. I was just an innocent bystander." He threw his hands out for dramatic effect, but the pretty blond wasn't buying a word.

"Methos, you haven't been innocent since before 3000 BC and you know better than to take a head inside Joe's bar!" Amanda picked the gun back up and waved the Glock at Methos. "What do you want here?"

"I want a beer. You're one to call the kettle black. Innocence isn't exactly your stock in trade, Amanda!"

"Get out!" She gave Methos a searing look as she pointed the gun at his heart.

"Come on, I just want a drink. If you don't like beer, I suppose whiskey will be fine."

Methos failed to convince the thief to lower her gun. "Amanda, it wasn't my fault! The guy didn't know how to take no for an answer and he didn't understand the words 'I am busy, I do not want to fight.' He was bloody well annoying too."

"Then why did you kill him? Especially inside Le Blues Bar?" Amanda still kept waving the Glock at him.

"It's not like it was my first choice!"

"Really?" Amanda's voice went up an octave or two.

"Amanda, do you think I wanted to take a Quickening with Joe and Mike standing a few feet away? I could have just given him directions to the barge. Would that have made you happy?"

"No, Nyet, or, in Farsi, Nah. You wouldn't stoop so low, as to give up one of your friends just to stay alive? Would you?"

"For a moment the thought did cross my mind." The gun safety clicked off and Methos' eyebrows raised. "Well shoot me then! This is holy ground so you'll have to drag me outside to take my head and honestly, that's more effort than it's worth."

She hissed at him and finally put the gun down. "Methos in 5,000 years, is that all you could think of? To take the guy's head in side Joe's bar?"

"Amanda, do you expect freaking Einstein? I'm just a guy!"

"No, you're an idiot and Mac said you cheated!"

"Of course that damn self-righteous Scot would say that. Can you just give me a drink? Please?"

Amanda poured Methos a house beer and started to hand it to him, but reconsidered and pulled it back.

"Explain to me how you took the guy's head after he challenged Richard and yet you didn't break the rules of the game? Explain that and I'll give you this beer." She batted her eyelashes.

Methos took a deep breath and looked around to make sure they were alone. "The big hairy guy..."

"What was his name?" Amanda interrupted.

"Ask a Watcher, I don't know! It's not like I can waltz up and check their files anytime I want to." Of course Methos was lying. He had left a back door in the Watcher database when he and Don wrote it, but why tell Amanda that?

"You did write the damn computer program didn't you?" Amanda showed him her dimples in an effort to look cute. When trying to obtain information, candy always worked better than a hammer. Even with a 5,000-year-old idiot.

"That was back in the nineties, Dear. I left the Watchers a decade ago, and I thought you wanted to talk about what happened at Joe's. Can I have that beer now? If I say pretty please?" He was willing to talk about the quickening at Joe's if it got Amanda's mind off the database.

"Not until I get your side of the story. I've already heard Joe's and Duncan's."

"Richie hasn't come by?"

"You just missed him. They all think I'm Dear Abby."

Methos smiled at his friend. "Only if she's over one thousand and sexy as hell."

Amanda smiled.

"Anyway, the big hairy guy was ranting and raving about wanting MacLeod's head and I'd better tell him where Duncan was or he'd fight me instead. Of course, Richie chose that moment to walk in so we had a threesome. What fun!"

Methos smacked his hands against the bar and Amanda jumped. "I rememberreading about this particular hairy guy's reputation when I was still a researcher." Methos leaned close to Amanda and lowered his voice. "He was a head hunter, and one not to be messed with, even by someone like MacLeod. So what did you want me to do?"

Of course, Methos had checked the database and knew the head hunter was in town. It was, however, a surprise to see the big hairy guy drinking in Joe's bar.

"Okay, this head hunter was a mean bastard, but that doesn't change the facts. Duncan said you broke the rules!" Amanda continued to lecture her older counter part.

"Rules? What bloody rules? Don't take a quickening at Joe's Bar?"

"Richard said that the hairy head hunter was about to challenge him."

"The key word is 'about' to challenge." Methos emphasized his point with a finger in the air.

"Remember what we were taught from the beginning? Never interrupt a fight once it's begun!" She slapped his finger.

"We were taught? Who wrote these bloody rules anyway? They've only been around about what, maybe for three, four thousand years? When I was young we only had one rule - no fighting on holy ground. If it was Duncan's head on the line I bet you would have done the same thing! Besides, I'm not about to put up with hundreds of years of that damn Scott whining about how I just stood there and let Richie, his student, his friend, his bloody...son...die."

"You really like Richard, admit it!" Amanda reached over to ruffle his hair. "You need a hair cut and shave. What's with looking like hell?"

Methos ignored Amanda and tried to grab the beer out of her hand only to spill it. He glared at her momentarily before relenting. "Okay, Rich is not as annoying as he used to be. In a couple centuries he might even become a fine fellow."

"Sit down, and I'll get you another beer. Try not to wear this one." Amanda smirked and poured another draft. "So, tell me what really happened at Joe's, Old Man."

Taking a seat at the bar, Methos took several sips of his beer and smiled with deep satisfaction. Looking at Amanda's impatient face, he realized there was no way he was going to keep the beer without telling her his side of the story.

"Alright, the big, hairy headhunting stranger, was yelling on and on and on and on..."

"Yeah, I got that part. And?" Amanda rapidly tapped a nail on the bar.

"He wanted MacLeod in a bad way, but after a while it was obvious any head would do. Since I said my dance card was already full, he turned toward Richard with his sword. Well, the boy has learned too many lessons from that noble Scot because he got mad at me!"

"Why?" Amanda still trying to play it coy

"Because I let Big and Hairy say nasty stuff about MacLeod and I didn't do anything. Rich said if I wasn't going to shut him up, then he would. This guy would have killed him, and not just temporarily. They were about to walk out of the bar and find a more secluded spot, so I..." Methos took another large swallow.

"So you what?" Amanda demanded.

"Cut the bastard's head off when he turned his back to me. Honestly, what rule did I break?"

"The one that says don't turn your back on Methos." Amanda said seriously.

"Precisely. I yelled for Richie to grab Joe and everyone to get the bloody hell out of there. After the Quickening things went downhill. The bar caught on fire, Rich came back in looking for me, swearing about the flames. Joe sent him I guess when I didn't come out. Why risk the life of a fireman when you have an Immortal around? When it was all over the Fire Department condemned the place."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"No, but I did burn my favorite pair of jeans, and I doubt I'll get the smell of smoke out of my wool coat. Well, Richie got a little burnt too." Methos chuckled.

Amanda swatted Methos on the head. "Poor Joe. He is really pissed. I don't know if the insurance covers lightning on a clear day."

Methos rolled his eyes. "They'll just say it was an electrical fire. I apologized to Joe about one hundred times but he's still angry with me. So, since my regular bar is out of commission, I'm here. Now, tell me what you were doing online when I came in?"

"That's none of your business! Haven't you ruined enough lives for one day? Amanda gave him a catty smile.

"Well, it looked like you were on a dating site." Methos teased.

Amanda's jaw dropped. "You must have extremely good eyes."

"Well one had to back in 3000 BC. It was eat or be eaten and I was the tribe's best lookout."

"Yeah, sure."

"No, really! I was Butch and Sundance's lookout, too."

"Methos, stop lying to me. Next you'll say you were working with Moses."

"No, but I did have several long conversations with Abraham. I was a Horseman during the time of Moses and we avoided him. I think it was that pillar of fire. Besides, who wanted to mess with his motley bunch? They were always saying that their God was going to get us until Kronos said to say away from Moses' people."

Amanda rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm sure!"

"Back to your Internet dating. You know, dear Amanda, almost everyone on those sites lie."

"Like someone I happen to know? Methos half of what you say is a lie, and the other half is untrue."

"You wound me." Methos placed his hand over his heart. "Okay, sometimes I stretch the truth. But Amanda, I bet most of those guys don't remotely resemble their pictures."

"Methos, I bet I can meet a wonderful man online and have a great date." The old thief boasted.

"Fine, I'll take that bet. Pick one, any one, and if I'm wrong, I'll help you pull a job of your choice."

"I wasn't serious, but that's tempting." She tapped a finger against her temple and considered it for a moment. "Okay, it's a bet!"

"I'll win since everyone lies, but say you meet a great guy and have a great date, and if you don't, what do I get?" Methos put his drink down and leaned his elbows on the bar.

"What do you want?" She asked warily.

"A place to live. I'm moving back to Paris and I hear Nick moved out and his apartment is empty."

"No, nyet, nay. You just burnt down Joe's bar, I don't want you living above me!"

"Amanda, you think it's a sure thing to win, so take a chance. It's just a date. Hell, even if you lose it could be fun."

"I did find this one profile I like, but he was in Miami... Florida."

"Perfect! I'll get my private jet ready for the morning. Email the guy and don't forget your suntan lotion."

"Just like that we're off to Miami?"

"I case you haven't noticed, it might be a good time for me to get out-of-town."

"I have to find someone to run my club, with all the extra business I'll have because of your disaster. I don't have a thing to wear in the Sunshine State's heat. My swimsuits are so last year."

"Amanda, when we get to Miami I'll take you shopping on my dime. Happy?" Methos finished his beer and stood to leave.

Amanda ran around the bar to hug him but stopped when she saw his week-old beard.

"On one condition."

"You want more? Don't worry, we'll stay in a five-star hotel and the bill is on me."

Amanda took a step and ran her hand through his messy hair. "Yeah. Get yourself cleaned up. I can't ruin my reputation by hanging around with a bum. Maybe on the flight you can tell an old friend what's really bothering you?"

He stepped away to pull on his coat. "Don't worry, I'll look marvelous. Expect the driver at nine a.m. Nothing is bothering me, I'm fine. See you on the jet." Methos flashed her a smile as he disappeared.

* * *

**Chapter two -**

**Sam Axe and Maddie post his Internet dating profile - Dinner for two 69.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Everybody Lies - Chapter 2**

I do not own Burn Notice or Highlander and this is written only for fun and not for profit.

I would like to especially thank my Beta reader **Feritkid **who helped me brainstorm during many of those late night sessions

**Sam Axe's dating profile. **

Madelyn Weston and Sam Axe sat in her kitchen looking over an Internet dating site.

"Are you sure this is the right one? It's a lot to fill out and it looks sort of complicated." Sam Axe squinted at the computer screen. "It looks more like some kind of test I took back in high school."

"Sam, put on your glasses, I have done this before, now shut up and pass me my lighter." Maddie said as she stuck a fresh cigarette in her mouth.

"Hobbies?" Madelyn asked.

"My Hobbies? Well I really don't have a lot of time for hobbies beside helping you fix up this place and hanging in the bars that will still run me a tab."

Madelyn gave Sam a cross look. "Sam you're retired Navy, I know you have free time besides that! How do you spend it?"

Drinking, Fishing." Sam gave Maddie a look and took a deep breath then drank more beer before continuing. "Well I do help Mike with 'jobs' from time to time and there is always fighting with Fee, if you want to call that a hobby."

"Sam, I like Fiona, you're too hard on her." Maddie said in between puffs of her cigarette.

"Maddie, I like her too but please don't tell her." Sam said as he guzzled down the rest of his beer.

"Don't worry Sam you're secret is safe with me. But back to hobbies, drinking, fishing? Plus you're not exactly Mr. home improvement Sam. Come on I need something more."

"Okay, sometimes we blow up things, getting shot at, and running from the CIA."

Madelyn Weston gave Sam a scalding look.

"I do like sex, not that I ever get any." Taking a chug from a new beer, "These question are stupid, I did mention drinking, didn't I?" Sam looked up and Madelyn Weston was laughing. "I see by the look on your face that not what you're looking for." Sam made a grimace. "Maddie you're not helping."

"Sam I guess I just wanted to see how deep you buried yourself first. Lets try sophisticated hobbies, like golf, tennis, Polo, boating, stuff rich people do." Madelyn said as she tried to brush some ashes of the keyboard of Sam's new laptop before he noticed.

"Oh I get it, you want me to lie! Why don't I just say I sail my yacht while hosting a champagne brunch for diplomats on weekends. Maddie what do you want me to, just make a horses ass out of myself and lie every other word? You know I'm a straight arrow. Hey! Can you be careful where those ashes fall, this laptop isn't completely paid for."

"But Chuck Findley lies all the time, and don't tell me you bought this computer on credit? Sam I didn't say lie, just embellish a bit. Come on! I know you would do it for Michael, I know you do it when you go out on jobs." She used her old cigarette to light a new one.

"I use that alias to help people in trouble, or help Mike out, not to get a date. Look Maddie the web site has a place to check if you're looking for sex."

"Sam don't check that! I thought you wanted younger wealthy women. Not a Hefner playmate. Besides you can find a beach bunny anywhere in Miami."

"Mike could find a beach bunny anytime, if he didn't think Fee would shoot them. But it seems that when it comes to attraction its mostly aging cougars chasing after me, and what's wrong with a Hefner playmate?"

"Sam, you're not taking this finding a date seriously!"

"Yeah Maddie, its hard to with these questions, did you read them?" Sam said as he began to read one out loud.

"_What do men/women fail to understand about each other? -_ Hell! If I knew that I wouldn't need this web site." Sam shrugged his shoulders and drank more of his beer.

"Wait this one is even better. _What are the three most important tools to achieving a great relationship? – _Maddie honestly, did either of us ever have a great relationship? Wait listen to this one_ -_

"Sam..." Maddie tried to interrupt.

"_What is the weirdest thing about you? _I just refuse to answer that question, why would I ever tell someone that?" Sam stated!

"Well Sam it's the Hawaiian shirt you wear of course!"

"Hey get your own!" Sam said as Maddie smiled and took a drink of Sam's beer.

"These are my beers and you live in my house!" she replied.

"I am getting this fashion advice from a women who chain smokes and wears housecoats!" Sam took a deep breath.

This is not a housecoat, its a Crushed Velour Lounge set and I also wear a Muu muu, also in fashion, more than Hawaiian shirts."

"Like I would be caught dead in a Muu muu" Sam teased her.

"Sam you're losing focus, fill out the form. I'll get you a fresh beer." Mattie quickly pulled a new one out of the refrigerator and handed it to Sam.

"Thanks Maddie. Let me look at a new question, _Tell me about your best friend. _His name is Mike and we help people, plan jobs, bring down the bad guys, and finally go drink some beer and eat blueberry yogurt."

"Sam! I am not helping you unless you start taking this seriously."

Fine! I can quit? Maddie Please?" Sam begged.

"NO" Maddie said with resolve.

"OK,I will look at another ridiculous question they have here,_ What was the worst lie you ever told someone? _HaIf I told you that Maddie, I would have to kill you." Sam smiled.

She just blew smoke in his face and said "Gee Thanks, I am glad you can trust me."

Sam buried his face in his hands for a moment, then made an ugly smirk and raised his eyebrows. Seeing that his partner in crime was not letting him off the hook he continued looking at the dating website.

"Oh and the best question yet, _If you could live anywhere, where would it be? _ Hell I live in Miami capital of sun, surf and bikinis. I already live in the place I want to. This question is just plain stupid."

"Sam Axe, stop acting like that! This is a very good Internet dating site, its rated number one and millions of people have met on it and went on to have happy relationships. Now shut up and just give me a good answer so you get the kind of responses you're looking for!"

"You mean lie," Sam said as he heard two voices sneak up on him.

"I mean just elaborate, come on Sam I've seen you do that before."

Fine Maddie try this question, "_What are the top 10 items on your bucket list? _Like I want someone to know that! Sam rolled his eyes.

Suddenly the two schemers were interrupted by the sound of someone coming through the back door.

"Mom, Sam, what are you two up to?" Michael asked in his usually suspicious manner, as Sam shut the laptop almost pulling Maddie's cigarette out of her hand.

"Micki, Fee, I am just helping your mom learn how to do her Internet banking." He explained as Maddie quickly smiled and joined him shaking her head yes.

"Yeah Michael you know how much I've been wanting to learn how to do some of this stuff, so Sam brought his new laptop by and he is giving me lessons." Madelyn got out another cigarette and lit up, and took a deep puff. While Sam took a large swig of his beer.

"Like I have been saying, the first lesson is keep all banking private." Sam gave Madelyn an annoying look.

"Funny I thought I heard something about a bucket list." Fee asked.

"Yeah, Sam and I are looking at the Internet site and things to put on our bucket list, you know that to do list before we die." Maddie nervously laughed while puffing on her cigarette and blew some smoke in Sam's face.

"Or you mean someone kills us," Sam smirked.

Michael looked at Sam and his Mother then just took a deep breath. "Sam remember that problem I told I could handle by myself. Well I changed my mind and could use you help with it now."

"Sure Mike this lesson is about over. Just remember what I told you Maddie, stick with the facts and it will be simple. "

"Sure Sam, we can do this another time you go help Michael, I'll see you later." Madelyn Weston lied. "Michael stay safe, and Sam you take care of my son!"

"Yeah, you two go, I'll stay and see if I can help Madelyn balance her accounts, Sam can I drive your Caddie back to Michael's, I promise to obey all the speed limits." Fee offered.

"Fee you are promising to actually obey all the speed limits?" Sam questioned

"Sam that actually is a good idea, you can just ride with me, we are limited on time here, see you back at the loft Fee?" Michael Weston gave Sam a hurried expression, and moved his hands to show Sam the door.

"Coming Mike, and Maddie don't do anything I wouldn't!" and Michael Weston along with Sam Axe were out like a flash.

"Good they're gone. Now Maddie spill it, what are you too really up to?" Fiona took a seat next to Maddie Weston.

"We were trying to fill out this form for Sam to be on a Internet dating site. Sam was being difficult and if we don't stretch the truth, I doubt he can get the type of women he looking for. But you know Sam is honest unless he has a good reason to lie." Maddie said as she got a new cigarette.

"Good thing I am here then." Fiona gave Maddie a knowing smile. "Between the two of us I think we can make a guy even like Sam into Prince Charming.

"Fiona, you have to see this! I found this photo of Sam and it's got to be at least twenty years old, but he looks so buffed in it." Madelyn showed her co-conspirator the photo of Sam when he was still an active navy Seal. It looked like he was a real American action hero, he was maybe thirty-five and sexy as hell. Both women had suspected back in the day Sam had truly been the type of man no woman could resist.

"We are so posting that photo", Fiona said, and with a wicked smile Madelyn had to agreed. So the two women spent the rest of the afternoon writing a killer profile for Charles Findley, otherwise known as - Sam Axe. When Fiona and Maddie were done it they titled it - Dinner for two 69, hit enter and waited to see who would answer.

Two weeks later among the many emails, one came from Paris, which caught the two women's eyes.

Both Fiona and Madelyn agreed this was the one, they sent a response and after another came back they invited Miss Amanda to Miami to meet Charles.

Then Maddie and Fee had to inform Sam he had a date...

**End chapter 2**

**Everybody Lies Chapter 3 - Methos and Amanda in Welcome to Miami!**


	3. Chapter 3

I would like to especially thank my Beta reader **Feritkid **who helped me brainstorm during many of those late night sessions. I encourage everyone to read her fan-fictions at - u/2825702/FerretKid – Also I want to Thank **Mckplk **for her help editing, please reads her story - Highlander Reserection  /series/23197 Neither Burn Notice or Highlander are mine

* * *

** Everybody Lies - ****Chapter 3**

**Methos and Amanda - Welcome to Miami**

Amanda could not believe Methos slept through most of their transatlantic flight.

He was the most annoying fellow she had ever known in all her 1200 years. He even had the gall to lock his bedroom door! Honestly the last thing on Amanda's list was a romantic interlude with a 5,000-year-old pain in the ass! Plus he left her all alone in the passenger compartment without even a flight steward!

Finally Amanda started to bang upon Methos' door until he got out of bed, wearing only his boxer shorts.

"Amanda you do realize this is the last chance I have for a restful sleep until I get home." Methos yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Well excuse me! The pilot and copilot are locked in the cockpit, there is no on flight steward and I was lonely!"

"You were lonely?" Methos stared her down, "Amanda I left an ice box full of food and liquor, caviar, even those little crackers you like! You could have rested, read a book, watched a movie, or even chatted on the phone! But nooo! You're lonely so you had to wake me up. Amanda stop acting like a child, you're 1,200 years old, when are you going to grow up?"

Amanda reached out and punched Methos right in the nose. The impact knocked him straight in to the wall bouncing him onto the floor, leaving his rather large schnozzle broken and bleeding.

"Ouch, that hurt!"

"After five thousand years I thought you'd have learned to duck." Amanda said putting her hand over her mouth in surprise!

"Oh what have got myself into? Hand me a towel." Methos mumbled grumpily. "Amanda, the least you can do is help me up?"

She reached down to give him a hand and Methos pulled her quickly down to the floor and rolled upon the unsuspecting women. His nose just healed but still dripping blood and his eyes shining with triumph.

"Methos get off of me!"

"NO! Two can play this game, how do you like it now?" his voice was harsh and full of triumphant.

"I think you are the one who needs to grow up! I never imagined you as the macho caveman type but then again, isn't that the era you're from?"

"You held me at gun point in the Sanctuary, turnabout is fair play!"

Both of them were still rolling around on the floor, when the Captains voice came over the intercom. "Is everything all right, sir? We thought we heard a commotion. We are hour from our airfield outside of Miami. Are there any new instructions, sir?"

Methos just took a deep breath in through his newly healed nose and snorted. Then slowly let Amanda go, making sure she wasn't retaliating. He gingerly stood up and walked over to the intercom.

"We just dropped something, everything is... fine. Captain just please contact the limo driver to make sure someone is there to pick us up. Then inform us just prior to landing. Thank you, Captain."

"Yes Sir," the Captain answered back.

Methos got a beer out of the refrigerator and opened it up. "Want something while I am here Amanda?"

"Sure. Vodka on the rocks would be fine."

"I have a nice 1995 Chateau d'Issan Bordeaux, I think you would like, but if you want the Vodka I'll get it for you"

"Okay, bring me the Bordeaux, and some caviar too, I'm starving."

"Amanda, I myself am more a beer and pretzels man.

"Like hell you are! This is White Almas Caviar from Iran. If you didn't like it you wouldn't have bought it. You're too cheap and selfish to buy it just for moi. Plus, Methos, it's illegal to buy in most places. How did you get your hands on some? I thought I was the thief?"

"I still have a few secrets, even from you. Now here is your wine, crackers and caviar, I'm off to my cabin to get some clothes on for departure. Amanda, I can't believe how aggravated you can still make me. Rebecca warned me you were the type to get under my skin. You know if I didn't need to find a new place to live so I could get away from Joe, Richie and Mac, we wouldn't be doing this." Methos walked into the private stateroom and tried to close the door, but Amanda stuck her head in, and the rest of her quickly followed.

"Methos?" Amanda purred.

"What!" The old immortal growled back. "Amanda, did anyone ever teach you the concept of personal space? Fine, come in. You don't care if I am practically buck-naked, I'm sure it nothing you haven't seen before." Methos said as he went to a closet and pulled out a new pair of jeans, tossed them on the rumpled bed, and then looked back in the closet for a shirt.

"Methos. You do realize we are going to be in Miami?"

He stopped and tilted his head, as his eyes got twice as wide. "No, I just own the plane and tell them to fly me about. Of course I know we are going to Miami!"

"So this is the plane you use so you can go who know where and no one can find you?" She put on her most innocent smile and asked.

"No, I was just making a joke. If this was really my favorite hiding place I'd have to kill you, for finding it. Actually we are going slightly north of Miami, to a private airfield."

"Methos do you know what Miami is like?"

"Get to your point Amanda, I may be immortal but I am about to die of tedium."

"Ya sure you are, have you heard of the saying - When in Rome do as the Romans?"

"Sure, I invented it"

"Along with the Gladiators and Chariot races I suppose?"

"Amanda, what's your point?" Methos gave her a snide look in response.

The sexy blond waltzed over to Methos and put her hands on his bare chest, then looked deeply into his eyes.

"You will absolutely not wear that old long wool coat while we are in Miami. Period. Did you hear about the season of summer?"

"Amanda I have lived in desert climates many times"

"When was that? Back in the days of shaved heads and loin cloths, where you just carried you sword as a side arm?"

Methos looked down at her hand then she felt his chest move in and out as he took a deep breath then he paused, taking a swallow.

"Maybe"

"The last time I saw a man in a loin cloth..." Amanda began, but Methos quickly interrupted, not wanting to hear that particular story.

"Please don't tell me," Methos said as he caught her hands in his and softly lifted them off his chest.

"Anyway, did you know the temperatures in Miami are way past ninety? Let's not even talk about the humidity; honestly have you ever even been here before?"

"I was in Cuba." Methos held up a finger, releasing her hands. "In 1958, but that was to gamble with Hemingway. Did you realize the guy became enamored of cats while living in Cuba? He kept dozens of them on the property he was worst than the Egyptians. He also drank like a fish and smoked cigars like candy. I came to play cards with him and another old friend, but there was a hurricane and we got stuck staying with the Hemingway's for a week. He was an interesting but strange man. Did you ever read his books?"

"Methos, do you ever give anyone a straight answer?"

"No, not often. I try not to, except sometimes when I am drunk of course. Amanda, I need my coat to carry my sword in; I can't be without my sword in a strange city. Especially when I do not know who the others are and where their intentions lay."

"You will absolutely wear no coat! It's summer in Miami! Methos, have you ever worn Bermuda shorts?" Then Amanda looked down and smiled. "I think with your legs you can pull them off. Then maybe a nice Hawaiian shirt."

Methos just kept shaking his head no.

Three hours later the Immortal pair stepped out of a vintage clothing shop on the corner of Washington Ave and Español Way. Amanda had on a fantastic vintage sundress and Methos was dressed in Bermuda shorts and a very loud blue Hawaiian shirt with dancing palm trees printed on it.

"Are you sure these just aren't your recycled clothes from the 1970's? Bloody Hell Amanda, now how am I going to carry my sword? You know, I am tempted to cancel our reservations for the Presidential suite at the Fontainebleau resort on Miami Beach"

"Don't you dare! I want my views of the inter-coastal, downtown Miami and Biscayne Bay. It's bad enough I have to share a living room, sitting room, and dining area, with you.

"Sorry Amanda, some sheik is in town so we have the La Mer Presidential suite. It's only about 1,500square feet, not the 24,000 suite, but has a panoramic oceanfront view of Miami Beach. The living area and dining room is complemented with a full size wet bar leading out to private wrap-around balcony. It's not too shabby. Amanda, it's still a Presidential suite."

"Do I have to share a living and dining room with you?"

"Yes!"

"Fine, but I still want the master suit. Even so it's still a downgrade, so what's so special about it?"

"The master features a private balcony, a whirlpool bath and shower. Even though I am paying I will take the second bedroom - not as fancy as yours, dear."

"Good, but I'd still rather have the 24,000 sq. foot suite." Amanda smiled. "I think I know the Sheik."

"No! We are here for you to date this Charles Findley and I told you it was booked, he brought his three wives and two concubines. Now back to my other issue, what to carry my sword in?"

"Three wives?"

"Don't forget his two concubines; you want to be number three?"

"No. You old spoilsport!"

"OK then where can I keep my sword?"

"Right now it's in the Limo, right?"

"Oh Yes, if I am challenged you will kindly explain to the other immortal I have to go to the limo to retrieve my blade?" Methos smiled, "Where do you carry a weapon in that outfit of yours?"

"That is for me to know and you to find out."

"Amanda you're impossible! I see a golf store; I could carry a set of clubs and insert my sword mixed in with the drivers."

"I am not walking all over south beach toting golf clubs! Talk about impossible!"

"You have a better idea?"

"Well, what about a guitar case?"

"Then someone might ask me to play, so why a guitar case? In the middle ages I played the lute and was a traveling minstrel"

"You actually made a living playing and singing as a troubadour?"

"Oh yea, it was a great occupation until I got hung. Talk about being politically incorrect try the dark ages! One wrong word to the Lord of the Manor and you got strung up, those were intolerant times."

"Methos, do you just make this stuff up as go along? Like hell you can play the guitar!" Amanda snorted!

"What, do you think in 5,000 years I never learned a musical instrument? I was on the stage with The Rolling Stones, I played a mean bass guitar. I was a backup artist for Mick the mouth Jagger."

"Like hell you were, I used to party with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards back in the Rolling Stones glory days and I never saw you there!"

"Honestly Amanda would I lie about a thing like that?"

"Yes, Methos you would lie about anything if it got you what you wanted!"

"Amanda dear, all I want is to carry my sword in Miami."

"Methos you're impossible."

"Thanks, it an acquired skill, honed after many years of practice."

"Methos honestly stop the ridiculous stories and pay attention to me for once!"

Methos made a deep guttural sound that sounded almost like a growl as he gave his companion a stern look.

"Amanda my dear, there is no reason to insult me just because I was enlightening you of my musical past."

"Sure. Now can we get back to the subject, a guitar case, can be used for carrying many things. In the 1920's we used them to transport Tommy guns. So a sword isn't so out of place," Amanda put her hand in Methos' face. "Please!" No more outrageous stories! I see a music store over there, let go!"

"Amanda you're exasperating, like you always told the truth! But sure I should have known you were a gangster's moll in the 1920's."

"No, you're mistaken, I was the gangster, a kind of a Robin Hood really. Cory Raines, me and Duncan."

"Really? I can see Cory Raines and you being gangsters, but the Boy Scout? I don't think it's in MacLeod's DNA to have ever held up banks and shot at the law. You and Raines are the Bonnie and Clyde type not Duncan. Maybe he was the lawman chasing you?"

"No Macleod just mostly dug us up after they shot us and killed us. A couple of times we got him to drive the get getaway car."

Methos started laughing.

Amanda hit him in nose. Again.

"Does Mac know you have this violent streak?" He asked as he took out a handkerchief and wiped blood off his nose.

"Do I have a violent streak? I am a 1,200 Immortal who cuts off other people's head to survive!"

They both looked each other in the face and started to crack up.

"Okay so I could hide my sword in a guitar case. The whole music thing could be expensive, I need to buy a good guitar, what if someone wants me to play the bloody thing? I'm a bit out of practice."

"You're the one who claims to have been a back up artist for the Rolling Stones, I never said I could play the guitar. Macleod tends to believe you're stories. Of course he doesn't know you like I do."

Methos gave Amanda a pensive look, "Bloody hell women! I will meet you at the hotel at three pm, and we will check in then. Take the limo there."

"You're sure you'll be safe?"

"Yes dear quite, I carry my 9mm Luger and always lots of knifes."

"But I can't leave you, without a sword, all alone." she gave him a helpless look.

"What is your problem now Amanda?"

"You said you were going to pay, and I need more money."

Methos looked at her sweet smile, "I know you're not broke Amanda. What are you worth, thirty, fifty, don't tell me, a hundred million?"

With a smile, Amanda pointed her finger up.

"So spend some of your own money!"

"No way honey. This is your shindig, you promised me a new wardrobe and said you're paying."

"How does Mac put up with you?" Methos asked as he tossed her a new credit card. She caught it and mid air and tucked it in her bra.

Then Amanda came close, putting her arms around his big shoulders and brought her fingers behind Methos' head toying with his hair while brushing her body against his. She closed the space between them, with her spiked high heels she could almost see him eye to eye. She licked her upper lip and put on those bedroom eyes. Then blew a soft breath on to his face, so he could feel how warm and inviting her mouth must be.

"Usually he puts up with me like this." Amanda voice got deep, dark and sexy.

Methos' eyebrows rose his face tilted and brow crinkled but no smile appeared as she expected.

"Fine! You made your point, but you are here to date a guy named Charles Findley not me. Plus I am not amused by your killer charms. They simply don't affect me."

Amanda reached her hand down and to see if she had affected Methos and he quickly jumped back in surprise.

"I guess you're right, I lost my charm or you're not attracted to me. Methos who would have guess that you're a cold fish, you have let the eons steal your passion." Amanda wasn't smiling either.

"Amanda I will see you at the hotel at three pm." Then Methos turned and walked away.

Just under his breath so no one would hear Methos said to himself, "You're wrong Amanda, I am not a cold fish and I've not lost one drop of passion especially when it come to you. But we're not here for a fairy tale erotic weekend. We are here so I can win a bet. To prove to you everybody lies. Besides I promised Rebecca I'd help watch over you, to make sure you lived at least another couple of thousand years. Now that damned Scot has you believing in superman, truth justice and the American way and that's a good way to lose your head. Amanda you may be a pain in the ass but, I'm not losing you too."

**End of chapter three**

**Chapter four**

**Amanda and Sam have a date.**


End file.
